Down but Not Out

 Right around the July 4th,  I discovered a fairly small lump on my left shoulder.  I quickly went over to my right shoulder to see if I had a bump in that shoulder.  That was just instinct I guess to see if what I felt was normal compared to the other side.  I felt of it the next few days and it really worried me.  A few days later we went to Memphis to visit Steve's parents and I told Steve in front of his parents that I had found a lump in my shoulder.  Steve's dad felt of it and said that he did not think I should worry about it because it was so soft but said I should have my Dr look at it.  I blew it off.  Would think about it from time to time, but I was actually too worried to see the Dr about it.  I know that is so dumb.  I kept thinking," I will go next month."  The lump was growing and growing.  Fast forward to Oct. 31.  The Stamps came to our house and because Judy is a nurse I told her about it and asked her is she would look at it.  We went in the bathroom and I let her look at it and I said,"if you think it is cancer, don't tell me." She said that she thought it was a lipoma (fatty tumor).  She said her dad had one removed from his neck.  She agreed that I should see a Dr. I was a NERVOUS WRECK and went to see my Dr a couple of weeks ago.  He said he thought it was a cyst or a lipoma.  He said it was fairly large, about the size of an egg.  He said that because of the location, size and the fact that it will continue to grow he thought I needed it removed. I asked him if it was fatty tissue and he said he was not sure.  He sent me to see Dr Hudec in Fayetteville who is a great surgeon.  I saw him last week and he said that he thought it was a lipoma.  He said that there was a very very small chance that it could be malignant tumor and he would for sure be sending it to pathology.  I think that is just standard these days. Then my mind went straight to Dave Draveky.  Incredible man.  Google him!      
Anyway, his nurse came in and she asked me what place/ hospital I wanted to have my surgery.  I said, " can he not just do it here, now?"  She was super nice and and friendly but looked at me like I had three heads and said,  "oh no, you will be put under general anesthesia."
We have been snowed in, but made our way to the surgery center yesterday for the surgery.  I was so so so nervous.  What I wanted was to be able to wear good make up, cute clothes, pull my shirt down as I sat in a chair, get a shot in my arm, make a small cut and pull it out.  BUT NOOOOO!!!!!  I had to wear no make-up (I wore a little), strip down and wear a hospital gown and be INTUBATED.  WHY??????
Everyone was soooo very very nice.  They were so good to me.  The Dr came in and talked to us.  He signed his intials on my shoulder.  Then the anesthesiologist came and gave me the run down.  I just wanted a little sleepy medicine but he said that he had to completely put me OUT.  I don't understand that.  Then a really nice nurse came in and told me she would be my nurse during the surgery.  She came back a few minutes later and told me I was next and they were preparing the operating room.  The anesthesiologist came and and told me he was going to give me two meds in my IV that would make me not care about anything.  He said,  "and this will take affect in 30 seconds."  The nurse told Steve to kiss me and they rolled me to the O.R.  They had music playing and I remember there were several people in there.  I was staring at all the sets of lights and thinking that they had all kinds of beauitful shades of blue in them.  I don't know it they really did or I was medicine CRAZY.  A guy lowered the bed rail and told me they were going to move me on the operating table and I don't remember a thing after that.
I woke up with sweet nurses around and they were talking about how my heart rate was very elevated.  A nurse said it was that way during the surgery.  They asked me how I was doing and were very sweet to me.  I held up my arm and put my hand in front of me and moved my fingers.  I was just making sure I still had an arm.  Ha!  My mind always goes to the worst place with things like this.
Then I think they took me somewhere else and Steve came to see me.  He told me that they had come to the waiting room and told him the surgery had started and that I was doing well.  Then he said about an hour later Dr Hudec came out and asked him to come to the family consultation room.  Dr Hudec said I did great and he was pleased with how the tumor cracked.  He told him it cracked like an acorn and not an astroid and that is always a good sign.  Explain this??????  I told Steve to ask him how big it was and how long the insicsion was, but Steve said he was so nervous that he forgot.  The weirdness in me wanted to see it.  But I did not know how that would work and was afraid they would be making me an appointment with a psychologist when I left. Ha! ha!

Here it is with the Surgeon's initials in the middle of it.  HAPPY it is OUT of ME!!!!!!!!  I am SORE SORE SORE today, I did not have a bit of pain yesterday.  I had a very sore throat from the tube and was very hoarse yesterday, but that is good today!
The discharge papers said to get complete rest for two days.  I am enjoying t.v., reading our Christmas cards and looking at the beautiful snow.  My dear friend Tracy let the girls spend the night and kept them all day yesterday!  A huge blessing for us!!!!  I am so thankful for friends and family who have prayed and encouraged me and for Steve for taking good care of me.  I hope to be back to normal soon!!!