I know there are some single girls who read my blog and I wanted to write to you today to I hope, encourage you. I have several thoughts on singleness because I have walked that road. I know how it feels. I did not get married until I was 32 and started dating Steve when I was 31.
I really had my life all plan out. I wanted to go to OBU, find a preacher and have 4 children by the time I was 30. I really started to panic when I was 25 because I was still single. I had LOTS of blind dates and I really liked doing that. I always had high expectations. People were always trying to set me up. I have some stories about some of those dates.
I always had very high expectations for a man and people gave me a hard time about that. I never let it worry me because I KNEW what I wanted. Here are some of the things that were really important to me:
I wanted a guy who had a real and strong relationship with Jesus.
I wanted him to be from a good family.
I wanted him to have a dependable job.
I wanted him to be funny.
I wanted him to be very manly.
There were lots of other things on my list too.
In my days of being single I only had two serious relationships. I learned TONS of stuff about myself, life and people from them.
I would get really depressed when I was single about being single. I would cry about it A LOT. I would get really down around the holidays. I would wonder if I was doing something wrong. Was I living in the wrong place? The wrong church? My parents seemed to think that I had scared many men away when they saw me eat chips and salsa. I devour them! ha ha! I read every book there was on being single. The one that encouraged me the most was Lady In Waiting. BUT........................I LOVED to dream about what my husband would be like and I grew in my relationship with Christ. I depended on him in a way that I would not have if I got married early on.
I was confident of this: God knew my desire to be married. God loved me and wanted the best for me. I knew he would bring me a husband or take my desire away. I KNEW GOD was big enough to bring me Mr. Right. I didn't have to go to a certain city or be in a certain church.
I have heard it said that there is a big difference in a "good choice and a God choice." I wanted GOD'S choice for me.
When God brought Steve my prayers were answered. Steve had every quality on the list. I felt so comfortable with him and I didn't have to "talk myself" into liking him. I just liked him. We didn't have to play games or really work at the relationship. Steve just let me be me! That is VERY important. Don't change to make a guy like you!
It is better to never get married than to be a married to the wrong person. Wait on God's best for you.
I am so thankful that I was able to do lots of fun things when I was single. I lived with Kelly for
seven years and we laughed all the time. I was able to travel and go away for the weekend to visit friends. I can still do that, but now I have wife and mother responsiblities. They come first now.
I don't want to say that every person that wants to get married will, because I don't know that. But......I do know that he will give you that desire or take it away. He sees the big picture. He knows what is best for you.
Steve was worth the wait and the pain!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope you are encouraged today.
I really had my life all plan out. I wanted to go to OBU, find a preacher and have 4 children by the time I was 30. I really started to panic when I was 25 because I was still single. I had LOTS of blind dates and I really liked doing that. I always had high expectations. People were always trying to set me up. I have some stories about some of those dates.
I always had very high expectations for a man and people gave me a hard time about that. I never let it worry me because I KNEW what I wanted. Here are some of the things that were really important to me:
I wanted a guy who had a real and strong relationship with Jesus.
I wanted him to be from a good family.
I wanted him to have a dependable job.
I wanted him to be funny.
I wanted him to be very manly.
There were lots of other things on my list too.
In my days of being single I only had two serious relationships. I learned TONS of stuff about myself, life and people from them.
I would get really depressed when I was single about being single. I would cry about it A LOT. I would get really down around the holidays. I would wonder if I was doing something wrong. Was I living in the wrong place? The wrong church? My parents seemed to think that I had scared many men away when they saw me eat chips and salsa. I devour them! ha ha! I read every book there was on being single. The one that encouraged me the most was Lady In Waiting. BUT........................I LOVED to dream about what my husband would be like and I grew in my relationship with Christ. I depended on him in a way that I would not have if I got married early on.
I was confident of this: God knew my desire to be married. God loved me and wanted the best for me. I knew he would bring me a husband or take my desire away. I KNEW GOD was big enough to bring me Mr. Right. I didn't have to go to a certain city or be in a certain church.
I have heard it said that there is a big difference in a "good choice and a God choice." I wanted GOD'S choice for me.
When God brought Steve my prayers were answered. Steve had every quality on the list. I felt so comfortable with him and I didn't have to "talk myself" into liking him. I just liked him. We didn't have to play games or really work at the relationship. Steve just let me be me! That is VERY important. Don't change to make a guy like you!
It is better to never get married than to be a married to the wrong person. Wait on God's best for you.
I am so thankful that I was able to do lots of fun things when I was single. I lived with Kelly for
seven years and we laughed all the time. I was able to travel and go away for the weekend to visit friends. I can still do that, but now I have wife and mother responsiblities. They come first now.
I don't want to say that every person that wants to get married will, because I don't know that. But......I do know that he will give you that desire or take it away. He sees the big picture. He knows what is best for you.
Steve was worth the wait and the pain!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope you are encouraged today.
Comments
I found your blog through Kelly's blog and have really enjoyed reading it and seeing the pictures of your sweet family. I just wanted to tell you that this post was wonderful!! I, too, waited for a long time and have been very blessed with my wonderful husband, but I certainly remember those feelings that you describe. There will always be a special place in my heart for single girls, and I always pray for God's peace to be with them in their journey.
And I've "heard" both you and Kelly say OBU-- what school is that?
I really appreciated the comment about not having to be in the "right place" I have often wondered if I should go to a different church or find a certain supermarket or just where in the world are those great christian guys hiding at????!!
Your girls are darling and I so enjoy reading about all of you.
I will never be able to express to you the encouragement that this post gave me. I am recently single after a 4 year relationship. While I know that God has a plan for me, it is still hard to think about being alone forever. I trust in the Lord and his plan for me. Keep posting and I will keep reading!!!
Thank you so much for this encouraging post. I really needed to read this. This past weekend I was feeling really down and depressed about being single. I feel like everyone else pretty much has someone except me. I keep on thinking when is it going to be my turn!!!
I was actually thinking Saturday maybe if I moved somewhere else or something I would find someone. I am going to go buy that book you talked about!
Thank you so much again,
Christa
but I totally agree with you better to be a sassy single than a bitter bride.
hugs from oklahoma, kate
I followed Kelly's link to your blog today, and I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your words. I will be 30 in less than a month, and have never even dated. I have had many male friends, but I have never found one that met enough of my list items to even consider. All of my friends say I am too picky, but I am afraid of settling. I get upset about it a lot, and I cry a lot, because I want nothing more than to be a wife and a mother. I have a Master's degree and a great career, but they are not that important to me. I pray every day that God will bring someone to me, or take the desire from me, and it seems like the desire gets stronger. With turning 30 soon, I start to get depressed, because this seems like a big milestone, and I have no one special to share it with, and I am no close to my desire than I was when I graduated from college 8 years ago.
Thank you for your words of encouragement and for being honest about your feelings. It is comforting to know that I am not the only person in this world going through these feelings, and that others have been through them before and come out on top. God Bless You.
I checked out your post through Kelly's. I just needed to share that I really needed that post today! I have been in a "funk" the last few days. Being 31 and single. Never where I thought I would be at this part in my life. Thank you so much for the encouragement! It is hard to remember sometimes that God has a purpose and we need to be with who He wants us to be with. You are right I don't want to be with that wrong person just to be with someone. I just needed to share that this post meant so much to me today. I think it is helping me break out of my "funk". Thank you!
I needed to read this so badly. I have been dealing with the single thing for a while now. like a lot of girls thought I would meet my husband in college and be able to start a family. I just turned 26 and am starting to panic. Will I meet the one who I am supposed to be with? I needed this motivation and encouragement. This came at the perfect timing for me. Thank you for those words. I am glad Kelly's blog brought me here to day. Your family is beautiful.
Erin
Dallas, TX
Erin
Thank you so much for your post. I appreciate your thoughts and I AM encouraged today! I am single and have always wanted a family. Some say I have waited too long, but God knows what I need, not just what I want. So, as hard as it is, I keep waiting. I never thought I would be single and in my thirties. I went to a Christian University, Freed Hardeman, where it seemed that everyone there was getting their "MRS." degree. I'd never heard of that degree before college and I knew I didn't want to marry that early! So, here I am still waiting asking myself all the questions you mentioned. Today I am encouraged though, thank you.I have a wonderful life, but I know it will be better when I can share it with someone I love.
Michelle
I just found your blog today thru Kelly's blog, she recommeded for all of us single girls to read your blog today...and i'm so glad I did!
God used you to speak right into my heart tonight and I'm so thankful, i'm one of those 32 yr old single girls waiting for Mr. Right, I truely believe God has marriage in my future, it's just hard in the wait. So thank you for your encouragment tonight!
I too walked the road of singleness for many years. I met my husband at 45. We married when I was 48. I remember feeling all those feelings you so beautifully expressed. I remember a day when crying out to the Lord that I truly, all though through gritted teeth, told the Lord if was up to Him if I married. I would be okay with what ever He chose for my life. I also had a specific list of the man I wanted to spend my life with. And my husband Gary met all those dreams. Single ladies, don't lose heart. God is faithful. Because finding my husband did not come easy or with out pain, I cherish my marriage so much more. I don't take it forgranted.
Blessings, Maryellen
thank you! very encouraging and true.
~Elyse
Thank you so much for writing this post! It encouraged me so much!
Came over from Kelly's blog. Thank you for your post today! I am 31, single and the oldest of four granddaughters - who are all married! Being single is a tough road, but I am so thankful for Christian sisters in Christ who are willing to share their stories. Thank you for your post today! It was such an encouragement to me.
May God continue to bless you and your family!
I also found your blog from Kelly's blog.
Thank you for your encouraging words to single girls. I am 33 and single and honestly...I am struggling with it. The desire to be married and a mom has ALWAYS been a part of me but now I am beginning to wonder if that was not really a dream because God is not bringing it to pass. I don't know what He has in store for me...I am getting a bit weary in teh wait...but your words were very encouraging.
Thank you!
Bethany in Ca.
Thank you for posting this! I need to thank Kelly too for advertising it.. your words brought tears to my eyes.
I have always been the ONE of my friends that was confident enough to be single and not worry.. although I honestly have worried internally. I actually have Lady in Waiting- never read it-but I have it.
Your post totally helped encourage me.
Thank you so much for your kindness to all singles out there! :)
Through Kelly's blog I have found yours. I am in the waiting stage of my life for THE husband God has for me. I have been having a hard time with it lately and just in church yesterday the pastor was talking about being intimate with God before you could be intimate with a spouse. And now here I have found your blog to be VERY uplifting. It helps to know that I am not alone in this walk. I still have hope that one day God will answer my prayer to be a wife and a mother. Thanks again for sharing.
Have a blessed week!
I came over today from Kelly's blog. Thank you so much for this blog post. Your words were incredibly encouraging to me. You are so sweet to share some of your story with us. Words cannot express how much of a blessing it was to read this today.
I think what resonated with me in your blog today was when you said (and I'm paraphrasing here!) that nothing is worse than being married to "Mr. Wrong" because you moved forward with YOUR choice, instead of waiting on GOD's choice for you. I did that many years ago, because I was afraid if I didn't marry right out of college, I'd never get another chance. I cringed to admit that now, but it was so true at the time. Sure enough, three years into the marriage, we found ourselves separated. He was a good man, but the wrong man for me. I put both of us through a lot of pain because of my fearfulness. Because God is who He is, He gave both of us another chance at happiness--older, wiser and FORGIVEN.
Thank you not only for an important message about waiting, but having courage in the midst of our fear.
Have a wonderful day!
Thank you so much for this post! It’s so uplifting to be reminded of the fact that God does not have an age limit on “happily-ever-after”. I too had plans for my life. Attend college, get married, have three kids. I’m nearing 32 and have a very fulfilling career and am still waiting on God. I believe the same way you do, that God will send me someone or take that desire away. Thank you for reminding me. Thank you for reminding me that God’s timing is perfect and that His plans will far exceed any we could ever plan for ourselves. Thank you for being an open vessel. God used you to encourage me!
God bless,
Tammy
I found your blog through Kelly. You are so encouraging and have the most beautiful smile. I feel that if we lived closer to one another we would be good friends. I am 40 and single. It is hard. I have always wanted kids and to be married. Thankfully I have a friend and father in God. If you ever get up towards Chicago, let me know, I live in Indiana just 40 miles from Chicago.
Blessings to you,
Genah
thebeargirl@gmail.com
I never had a timeline for myself, just assumed everything would "happen" and I would marry early - in time to have a dozen kids! Now I'm 27, single, live in a country of men I wouldn't marry, and have 41 children, LOL.
God's ways are certainly not ours...
Thanks for sharing your story and for offering some encouragement to all of the single ladies out there!
Thank You! I serioulsy could not have rolled upon this post at any better moment. I read your blog often and seriously see so many similarities in yours and Kelly's friendship as with mine and my best friend Kailee.
Anyhow I am definitaly in a season of feeling lonely or wondering if God is hearing my desire's and prayers for a boyfriend/husband. I have not dated anyone since Junior year of high school (if you even call that dating!! haha)
I went to a Christian college .. Just like you thinking I would walk away with a husband .. and have at least one child by 25 .. Well I am going to be 24 in three months .. So obviously "my" plan is not on track .. But like you said it is not about "my" plan it is about Gods. And I know His is better and will be beyond my wildest dreams, but it is so hard to constantly remind myself of this ..
So with that, I just wanted to say thank you for the encouragment.. I will check out that book you mentioned.
Have a wonderful rest of your weekend!